Cornfield Strong

            Last Wednesday, I took a walk along the route I usually follow near my house.  The afternoon and evening before, Hurricane Isaias had barreled through the Pioneer Valley in Massachusetts, where I live. But by the time it got to us, it brought only tropical storm-force winds. Although people across town from me lost power, and many trees were downed, I didn’t notice much out of order in my neighborhood on my walk, at first: only a few small branches lay on or along the road here and there. But then I came up alongside the big cornfield that lines a long stretch of my walking path.

            The corn here is about five or six feet tall now, the stalks well-tasseled, deep green. Tufts of silks hang from the slim, immature ears on each stalk. Although I’m well aware that each acre of corn in this field sweats off 3,000-4,000 gallons of water into the air each and every day – yes, “corn sweat” is a thing! – I always enjoy passing by the thousands of corn stalks on my walks. It’s as if each of them is standing up as straight as it can, in an effort to show its serious devotion to bringing its one or two offspring to tasty ripeness. A series of Walls of Corn Moms, perhaps? The corn’s spiky tassels look like a jaunty, spiked haircut to me – a bit of irreverence amidst the stalks’ arrangement in formal rows.

            As I walked, I saw that the rows were all in order for about the first third of the field. Then, I noticed that a big swath of cornstalks on the edge of the field –  at least ten feet wide, and thirty or more feet long – had broken formation. They were all tipped over in the direction of the road I was walking on, bent fully over. They looked like they’d just fallen asleep standing up and had all tipped over. The stalks weren’t uprooted, just toppled, as if some giant foot had tramped over them and pressed them down hard.  Which is, basically, what had happened, if you think of Isaias as the giant, and its winds as the foot. 

            It struck me that only part of the field had been affected by the strong winds. I thought of the iconic photo I saw as a child, growing up in Illinois, where tornados were common: a photo of a piece of hay that had been driven into a barn board by a twister’s crazy winds. The scene before me now reminded me of the strange ways strong storm winds can affect the landscape, and how those effects can seem capricious. Here, I wondered why only this section of the field had been affected, and why the cornstalks hadn’t been uprooted and flung about the area, but merely folded over, firmly pressed down to meet the ground.

            This question of unpredictability – Who gets struck down? Who remains standing, untouched? – seemed so relevant to me as I passed by. As I continued walking, I wondered what would become of those stalks that had been brought to their knees, so to speak, by the swirling winds that rushed in without warning the day before. Could they recover? It seemed unlikely that they could simply pop back up, like some plant version of those inflatable toys with the weighted bottoms that spring back up when you punch them over. And yet, unpredictability is the hallmark of our very existence… I really have come to believe in recent years, that anything is possible – in terms of both positive and negative events. What might this cornfield be capable of?

            I found out this morning:

You can see a few still-folded stalks in the forefront of this photo. But the rest are standing back up at attention, looking none the worse for wear than their comrades.  I almost couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw that. Almost. But I had to believe it, because the evidence was staring me in the face.

            Perhaps their recovery had to do with evapotranspiration – the process whereby a corn stalk draws water from the earth up into itself, before spewing it out into the atmosphere in ungodly amounts, in the form of corn sweat, to create hideous levels of humidity that plague nearby humans…  As much as I would like to be able to find a way to feel really good about evapotranspiration (aside from the fact that it makes tasty sweet corn possible), in this case I prefer to ascribe the corn stalks’ recovery to something less concrete: resilience.

            The mechanics of resilience are more mysterious than the those of evapotranspiration, its manifestations much more varied. And I’m thinking of people here, now.  What does each of us draw up into us, that enables us to right ourselves in the aftermath of powerful storm winds? And where do we draw whatever we draw up from?   I’m sure this varies for each of us.  For the corn, maybe it was partly some form of rejuvenating nourishment from the earth, a kind of elemental supporting stake. Or maybe – as I enjoyed imagining – the farmer came by and tipped each individual stalk back up, into place, fortifying it with an encouraging touch and gentle, loving words. It could also have been that those hundreds of cornstalks were able to rise up thanks to support that each of them – the fallen ones and those surrounding them protectively as they struggled – offered to the others. “Come on back up.” “One at a time.” “We can get through this.”

            I like thinking of that chorus of spiky-haired corn-stalks boosting and spurring each other on.  I like thinking of us that way, too. Resilient. Drawing from reserves we may have to tap down deep to access, and then sharing them with those around us. Drawing on and supporting each other in whatever way we can at any given moment, as individuals and as community. This is so important now – and always: being resilient. Oh, and also: believing that we can get through whatever winds whip through and push us over. So, let’s do that. Let’s be strong. Cornfield strong. Spiky haircuts optional.

A Time to Stockpile Happiness, Love and Joy

It’s April 4rd, 2020. Here in Massachusetts, we are being told to expect COVD-19 cases to peak in about two weeks. I don’t know whether that’s an accurate prediction. Nor do I know what, exactly, we will face when the peak does come. All I know is that, for the moment, we in Massachusetts are not Wuhan, China. We are not Italy. Nor are we New York. Not yet. But we will soon be some version of all of these places. So, I’ve been thinking over the past few days: What is my task in these next couple of weeks, as a human being in this place where I am, for now at least, alive?

            Some days I have been building domino raceways out of colorful wooden dominoes that I mindfully stand upright, one next to the other, in a long trail. It’s good practice at staying present, in the moment. When I’m finished, I lure one of my cats to the end of the line with a piece of kibble so that, as she nibbles, the little blocks tremble and then tumble, tumble, tumble, tumble, until they are all lying, silent, on the floor. They make such a pleasant, even soothing, sound as they knock each other over.  Many minutes’ work. Only a few seconds for them all to tip and fall. Such a joyful few seconds, too! 

            But amidst the lightheartedness, sometimes a thought creeps in: You shouldn’t be doing something so frivolous while so many people are sick and dying, while nurses and doctors are fighting to keep others and themselves alive, while store clerks who can barely live on the wages they earn are packing up groceries for delivery, so that you don’t have to go outside to shop for food.

            When these thoughts sneak in, though, I’ve taken to reminding myself of something: These minutes of domino- and kitty-related joy create a strong, positive energy that fills my heart and lifts my spirits. They increase my stores of happiness and of inner strength. This, in turn, makes it easier for me to get through each day, because I have some reserves of calm and joy to draw on in the midst of the chaos swirling through the world.  

            At other times, I sit in meditation, tracing in my mind the long string of people who made it possible for me to receive three books I ordered last week from my local bookstore, to support them while they are closed: the store employee who read my online order and processed my payment;  another employee who took the books from the shelf and placed them in a box and sealed it up; the mail carrier who picked the box up from the store and took it to the post office; the who-knows-how-many post office employees who passed the box along, until it ended up in the hands of my neighborhood mail carrier, who delivered it to my doorstep on Wednesday. His name is Jeff. Thank you, Jeff. Many thanks to all of you in that chain of humans who made it possible for me to hold these books that will occupy my mind during the coming weeks. I am so grateful to all of you. May you be safe, and healthy, and happy, and free from suffering. When I practice this meditation, I feel a loving connection to each of the people I imagine as part of the delivery chain.  Like setting up the dominoes and smiling as my cat knocks them down, this also adds to my storehouse of nourishing energy. It helps me establish and maintain bonds of affection and well-wishing with those outside my house. More love to draw on.   

            As I said, I don’t know what the weeks ahead will bring, here in Massachusetts. But it seems likely that many of us – most of us? – will know people who get ill, some very ill, some of whom will die. Some of whom may be us. I can’t know what any of that will feel like until I am invited – no, forced! – to feel it.  But what I’ve been thinking about lately is that I am going to need deep reserves of joy and happiness and peace to get through whatever comes. They give me resilience of a sort that’s different from the kind that I access through determination or sheer force of will. I’ll need both of these types of energies in abundance, if I’m going to be able to not only remain calm myself, but also be the best possible support for those around me.

            So, as I make my way forward now, day by day, I am going to focus on building up my stores of happiness and love and joy, one tiny addition at a time – through meditation, and walks in the woods where the mockingbirds’ songs make me laugh; through heartfelt and lighthearted talks with my friends and family; and, yes, through setting up a couple hundred dominoes, so that I can have the fun of watching my kitty set them all tumbling. I hope that these reserves and my continuing, loving connections with others will enable me to remain upright when the pieces of world around me threaten to tip and fall. And not just me. Of course not just me. May we all be sustained and carried by the love and joy that flow between us. May all beings be safe, and healthy, and happy. May all beings be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.

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